"The New Revolution 2" Community Medical Symposium was held on December 1-2 2009. 177 parents attended a parent workshop and 1300 students attended two school presentations. Below is an article written about this event:
Jason Evert’s Tour a HUGE Success!
By: Mary Iapalucci (edited by Luciana Reali, Assistant Director)
Reprinted with permission from The Long Island Catholic, www.licatholic.org.
Nervous laughter rippled through the audience of about 700 Holy Trinity Diocesan High School sophomores and juniors when speaker Jason Evert pointed out that someone there could be sitting next to their future spouse and not even know it.
“Love your spouse even before you meet the person,” Evert told the teens who had gathered to hear his talk “Romance without Regret.” Evert, an author and national speaker on chastity, was at Holy Trinity as part of a whirlwind tour of Long Island that included an address to about 200 parents of teenagers at Cure of Ars Church in Merrick and a presentation to about 600 students at New Hyde Park Memorial High School. His visit was sponsored by L.I. Teen Freedom.
At the start of the assembly, Holy Trinity student Vinny LaManna bravely volunteered to help Evert illustrate a point. Giving the teen a blonde wig and dubbing him “Trixie,” Evert asked LaManna to pretend to be his date at the Grand Canyon. Then he picked LaManna up, tossed him over his shoulder, and walked to the edge of the stage to see how far he could go before he dropped him.
“None of us would take a girl we liked and see how close to the edge we could go,” said Evert to the teens, “but everyone wants to know how far they can go when it comes to sexual activity.” “When I was younger, I had a double standard; how far I would go and how far someone could go with my little sister.”
Addressing the young men he said, “If you don’t want someone to do it with your future wife,” you shouldn’t do it with your date.
Evert advised the students not to be in a rush to “find a soul mate” in high school and to save the gift of themselves for that future spouse. “Love can wait to give, but lust can’t wait to take,” he said, citing statistics that show that people who marry as virgins have a 70 percent lower divorce rate than the general population.
He acknowledged that waiting for marriage is countercultural. “All of us guys have been lied to about what it means to be a man. The message is if you’re still a virgin, there is something wrong with you,” Evert said.
Changing his voice often to imitate “macho” guys or “sweet” girls, Evert kept the audience laughing throughout the talk, even while giving information about serious side effects from artificial birth control methods or telling stories about girls with low self esteem who think sex equals love.
He told a story of a high school student who had a series of abusive sexual relationships. She heard a speaker who made her realize the true value of her gift of sexuality.
After that talk, she made a fresh start. She stayed home from the parties that weekend and instead began writing a series of love letters to the husband she would meet one day, telling him that she was waiting for him.
Some of the teens gasped and the girls said “awwwwww” when Evert concluded the story with, “she gave me those letters when I married her six years ago.”
Holding up a 4-D sonogram of his son, he said “this guy’s existence depended on what she decided in high school.”
He suggested the girls go out and buy a white candle, which they can present to their husbands untouched on their wedding night. “Ladies, you are worth the wait,” he said. “Turn it around. Let the boys be afraid they’re going to lose you if they ask for sex.”
Our culture lies to girls also, said Evert, holding up a Barbie doll. “Girls are told ‘your bodies are disgusting. You’re too fat,’” he said. Young women are told they have to show their bodies to keep a boy’s interest.
“Modesty doesn’t mean looking dumpy, it means looking classy. It’s saying, ‘frankly, I’m worth waiting to see,’” said Evert. “You can never convince a boy of your dignity until you convince yourself.”
He also spoke about how frequently young women are prescribed birth control for many reasons, without a full explanation of the risks involved. “Your fertility is a gift, not a disease to be treated,” he said.
Evert emphasized that even those teens who were already sexually active could change their ways. “How do I start over? How do I say no? Ask yourself: are you ready to be a father? Are you ready to be a mother?” He talked about how he had to stop his son from eating a gallon of ice cream before he got sick, reminding the teens that just because we want something, doesn’t mean it’s good for us.
“It’s not easy,” he said, but there are ways to make it easier. “Find good friends. Only date someone if you could see yourself marrying them.”
“Something big is changing,” said Evert, pointing to recent studies that show fewer teens are sexually active today than they were ten years ago.
“You don’t hear about that,” he said. “They don’t gossip about chastity at high school. It makes you think you’re the only one, but you’re not.”
Following Evert’s talk, Courtney Rubolo, sophomore, said the presentation exceeded her expectations. “His comedy made it easier to listen to all the information.” She appreciated all the information on birth control and sexually transmitted diseases “that you don’t really hear anywhere.”
Junior Kevin Quinn called it a “very good presentation. He was funny, but at the same time very serious.”
“He’s not that old and he could relate to us,” he added. The story of Evert’s wife really caught Quinn’s attention. “Your future wife is out there. I never thought about that much before,” he said.
Junior Meaghan Flatley, also was impressed by “the idea to think about future spouse. It’s so cool to think about a person out there waiting for you. He gave a whole new perspective to think about.”
“The talk was really awesome. I think it changed people’s hearts,” she added.
Sophomore Daniel Higgins said the talk had affected him deeply. “I was laughing, but at the same time was feeling bad about some things about myself. I know I am changing after this.”
Our Statistics from 2008-2009:
During the 2008-2009 school year, L. I. Teen Freedom educated youth through classroom instruction, community education fairs, after-school programs, and summer programs in schools and youth-serving organizations in numerous communities in Nassau and Suffolk counties of Long Island, New York. From September 30, 2008 to September 29, 2009 we have reached 5,014 students through classroom instruction, 556 students through community education fairs, 426 students through after-school programs, 115 students through summer programs, and trained 3 students for peer education. We seek to create community support for teen decision making to postpone sexual activity until marriage through parent workshops, faculty development workshops, and a Community Medical Symposium. We reached 412 parents through parent workshops, 94 school administrators, teachers, guidance counselors, nurses and other school personnel through faculty development workshops, and 153 members of the community through “The New Revolution” Community Medical Symposium.
The majority of youth in the Summative Level Evaluation, conducted with 7th and 8th grade students at Dodd Middle School in Freeport, stated that they intend to practice sexual abstinence immediately after participating in the program and more youth indicated their desire to discontinue having sex because they said “I’ve learned more and want to change my behavior.”
Further, there was statistically significant movement in a positive direction in how the youth responded to the questions, “Abstinence from sexual activity is the only certain way to avoid out-of-wedlock pregnancy and STDs,” “Would having sex as a teen make it harder for a person to have a good marriage and a good family one day,” and for behavioral intentions, “How likely is it that you will have sexual intercourse anytime before you get married?” 55.41% of participants marked either “I’m certain this won’t happen,” or “This probably won’t happen” and 73.83% of students marked either, “I definitely would not do it,” or “I probably would not do it.”
Finally, on the post-test, 23 students marked that they have had sex, with 11 indicating they would continue to have sexual intercourse and 10 indicating they would not, with 2 who did not respond. Of the 10 students who marked that they would discontinue having sex, 8 of the 10 marked that it was because they had learned more and wanted to change their behavior, after receiving the abstinence education.
Some highlights from the Process Level Evaluation, which included students from Dodd Middle School as well as students from other Long Island schools who receive the L.I. Teen Freedom were as follows: 90.62% of students surveyed either agreed or strongly agreed that abstinence is the only certain way to avoid pregnancy; 89.80% of students surveyed either agreed or strongly agreed that abstinence is the only certain way to avoid STDs; 76.3% of students surveyed strongly agreed or somewhat agreed that pregnancy outside of marriage is likely to have harmful effects on the child; 83.87% of students surveyed agreed or strongly agreed with the statement “I will be healthier if I wait to have sex until after marriage;” and 79.21% of students surveyed agreed or strongly agreed with the statement “I will be happier if I wait to have sex until after marriage.”
This is the text of a letter that one of our instructors received from a high school girl in October 2007:
"I am writing this letter to thank you for spending the last three weeks in my class. I have learned so much in three weeks than I have in 15 years. Before you ever stepped foot into my class, I was looking at sex as a normal action everyone was doing. I thought it was no big deal. Before you came along STDs never crossed my mind nor the abundance of it. Before you opened my eyes, a guy having sex with a girl just one time and never speaking to her again was OK. Now, I understand sex is indeed a big deal. It's special and sacred. Now I realize that STDs are no joke, that one in every four teens have one. Now I see that having a 'one night stand' with a guy is a way of him using you. My whole perception on teenage sex has made a complete turn around. I thank you for the message you have presented to me, and I would like to inform you that you have impacted my life for the better. And, as the bracelet I won on the day we played bingo said, 'I am worth waiting for!' Thank you."
| L.I. Teen Freedom at Mercy McGann HS |
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By Mary Gorry
 Riverhead — The blanket on the floor of the classroom representing the “marriage bed” was crowded with students in one of the classes at McGann-Mercy High School here Feb. 14. Except for the “married couple,” each student represented part of a web of past sexual experiences. The demonstration on the physical and emotional baggage brought into a marriage by premarital sex was part of the two-week L.I. Teen Freedom program.
L.I. Teen Freedom is a federally-funded program that teaches young people about abstinence, relationship building, and the skills they need to do both. McGann-Mercy is the first Catholic high school on Long Island to host the program, where male and female team leaders have been talking with the ninth- and tenth-graders for two weeks during their regular classes.
After having all the kids clear off the blanket except for the “married couple,” Tom Smith, one of the team leaders, asked the students which bed was more appealing. When they agreed it was the bed with two people, he asked why.
“It’s more personal,” said one male student.
“They’re with only each other, not with everyone else,” added a female classmate.
“We bring our past into our future relationships,” explained Smith.
“I was a little skeptical of the program at first,” noted school chaplain Father Michael Rieder, “because of the idea of outsiders coming in and broaching the subject of abstinence. It could turn the students off immediately. But the fact that they’re here for two weeks, that you have the same team in your class every day, every day they’re building credibility and relationship.”
“We look at it as a three-pronged approached,” said Luciana Reali, the assistant director of L.I. Teen Freedom. “The why: why be abstinent; the how: which are the tools for being abstinent; and the support. We try to get to know people in the community like Father Mike and the teachers. We try to get everyone on board so that the kids will make the commitment but also have the support to live it out.”
In one of Thursday’s classes, team leaders Reali and Smith discussed the physical and emotional consequences of casual premarital sex with their class — how drugs and alcohol can lead to high-risk behavior, how condoms or engaging in sexual activity without intercourse can still lead to STDs and pregnancy, and why having sex while engaged is still premarital sex.
Cheryl MacDougall, a teacher at McGann-Mercy, noted that the program “shows that teens have choices out there. The way the media portrays sex and sexuality or what they hear from their friends is not the only way. I know that that is a surprise to some of these kids, that you can actually choose, that you’re not just driven by your hormones or desires or peer pressure.”
She added that having teams of young men and women from L.I. Teen Freedom sharing their own choices to be abstinent shows the students that “there are people that are doing this. There are nice, attractive men and women who are doing this.”
“We’re also very honest with them about how hard it can be,” noted Nolan Reynolds, a team leader. “We don’t present it as a cakewalk. We challenge them. For too many years, teenagers have been told they’re reckless, they’re going to do whatever they want, and they deserve better than that.”
“We always frame (being abstinent) in terms of making decisions with the future in mind,” explained Reali. “We keep telling them that being abstinent will help them to achieve their goals for the future, such as career goals and marriage,” helping the teens to set goals for themselves and discussing what steps they will need to take to reach them.
The teams are always male and female because that way the teens “have a male and female role model who are living the message,” said Reali. “We’re also modeling a healthy male-female friendship. A lot of times they think if you’re male and female you must have a romantic relationship. We’re showing them how men and women should interact with each other, working and respecting each other and helping each other.”
“It’s always positive, we don’t try to scare the kids,” she noted. “We give them the information and the reality, but we always end on a positive note. We always bring in an Etch-a-Sketch, and we talk about the idea of new beginnings. Like on an Etch-a-Sketch, you can draw on it and erase it, meaning that everyone gets second chances. We don’t want to make them feel guilty. We want them to see that they can turn their lives around and make better choices for the future.”
© Copyright 2008 The Long Island Catholic
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